Love and hurt go hand in hand but that should not stop us loving. Two ways to approach love

You can’t love without getting hurt!There is no doubt that when a relationship comes to an end, the one who did not want the relationship to end will feel hurt. Even during a relationship when we experience disappointment we may also feel hurt. At these times we should think how we can be more trusting, caring, loving and forgiving. Here are two examples of love and how to approach love. 

Khadijah, the first wife of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)Twice widowed, she had given up the idea of marrying again. However, she got to know Prophet Muhammad (before he was recognized as a prophet). Why did she change her mind about marriage – she observed his character and his honesty in dealing with her business. Although the age difference is disputed by some, she was significantly older than Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

25 years of happy marriage
This marriage lasted for 25 years. The Prophet (PBUH) was monogamous (faithful, no other women). Khadijah was also loyal to the Prophet and supported him in all aspects of life. Khadijah believed in him when no one else did. She accepted Islam when others rejected. She helped and comforted him when there was no one else to prepared to help him.

COMING TO TERMS WITH LOSSThere was once a great alim (man of learning, wise). He loved his wife so much but she passed away.  He was so sad at this loss that he locked himself away and refused to meet and talk with people.

A woman requested to see him on the basis that she wanted to ask him a question and that she must ask it directly. She waited and waited outside his door. The alim was informed of this and eventually permitted her to enter.

THE GREAT QUESTION
This is my question:  I have a neighbour from whom I borrowed some jewellery. I have been wearing it for quite some time now. This neighbour sent a person asking for the jewellery.  Should I give it back to her?

The alim replied: “Yes, you have to give it back to her.”

The woman replied: That jewellery was with me for a very long time. How can I give it?”

The alim replied: “In such a case, you should give it even more happily because it was out of her kindness that she allowed you to use it for such a long time.”

USE THIS WISE COUNSEL FOR YOUR SITUATION TOO
When the alim had said this, the woman replied: “May Allah have mercy on you. Why then are you so sad?  Allah had loaned you something and when He wished, He took it back. (Because) it belongs to Him.

REALIZATION
Upon hearing this, the alim realized his mistake and benefitted tremendously from this conversation.

THE LESSON OF THESE LIVES AND STORIES
Love is a very precious thing and should you meet someone who loves you – treat that love as your precious jewellery. Be grateful for the time you have had together. Cherish it at the time and continue to love even if for some reason one of you has departed either to someone else in this life or to the next world.

LOOK UPON LOVE IN THIS WAY 
Never regard love as something that hurts but something that is so wonderful when you have it. Love is just like a piece of valuable jewellery that a neighbour has lent you – be grateful for that time, cherish it at the time and cherish the memories.

Love is just like a piece of valuable jewellery that a neighbour has lent you – be grateful for that time, cherish it at the time and cherish the memories

10 ways to be the best speaker

1. TIP 1 
If you really want to improve your speaking you need to think of speaking as a skill. Speak or record yourself saying the answer and then write it down. We speak and write differently, and it is a mistake to train yourself to speak in the same way as you write. If you record yourself you will be able to consider whether you said enough. In parts 1 and 3 of the IELTS test you need to aim for two or three sentences per answer.

Speaking should still be organized. There should be a structure to the answer. You need to use organization language such as Firstly, XXXXX. Secondly, XXXXX Lastly, XXX

Consider whether you speak too slowly or too rapidly? In Part 2 of the Speaking Module, a native speaker could speak about 250 words in two minutes. If you are speaking for less than 200 words, you may be on the slow side.

2. TIP 2 FOR PART 2. Part 2 of the speaking module is about speaking non-stop for about 2 minutes.  Practice Part 2 in your own language first. Part 2 is also known as the long turn. Can you speak well in your own language for two minutes – for some people that is difficult too.  You need to be able to speak non-stop for two minutes. Structure language is key for Part 2.

3. BREAK DOWN PART 2 into bite-sized chunksIn Part 2 you are given a card with a topic. Usually there are four points, so you should divide the talk into the four parts in the question. If you speak for about 30 seconds for each part – then you have got your 2 minutes.

4. See pictures when you are speaking.
Find a picture about an IELTS topic and describe what you see. In Part I of the IELTS exam you may be asked to talk about your life and your home town. If you have gone through lots of your own pictures you will have done some great preparation for the IELTS exam. When you are taking the exam remember these pictures.

5. TIP 5 – practice reading and speaking together.After reading a passage, summarize what you have read.  Doing this improves thinking in English and articulation – how you put your English together.

6. Tip 6 – Memory development.
Many the speaking questions are about you and your life. Before the test you should refresh your memory concerning your past. Get out all the photographs you have and remember the important events of your life. Go over in your mind all the memories you have of events, people and places. Speak about all your personal memories.

Think of the helpful people in your life – your teachers, your relatives. Think about when you met them and how long you have known then. Think about why they are important and what makes them interesting. How did you benefit from them. Remember all the things you did together. Think of the activities and the conversations.

Think of the helpful people in your life – your teachers, your relatives

Think of the important events in your life. What happened – when, where, who, what. Who were the people you were with at that time.

Think of all the places you have been to in your home country and elsewhere. Think of the place and how you got there? Who did you go with. What did you do and how did you feel.

Think of all the things you own. How long have you owned each item? Was it a gift? Did you buy it – how did you get that money? What is the sentimental value?

7.  TIP 7 –
If you don’t know or are not sure then say so. This is a test of English and there may be some questions where you really don’t know or don’t have that experience. Then say so. Of course, explain why you don’t know or are not sure.

8.  Tip 8 – mirror, mirror on the wall
Speak in front of a mirror.  Use the mirror to help you make better eye contact. Eye contact is considered to be important.

9. TIP 9.
Write questions. Yes you think up some questions. The speaking module is all about thinking, and thinking up and answering your own questions will make you more aware of the Q and A process.

10. TIP 10 – practice higher standards.
Practice speaking for at least 3 to 4 minutes. Then repeat but do it in two minutes and aim for a more compact answer compared to the first one.

Be irresistible! 10 ways to be the best wife ever! (Muslim style)

Be irresistible. 10 winning ways

1. YOUR BEAUTYUse your Fitnah (beauty and overtures of allurement) to win your husband’s heart. All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with.  Use what beauty you have to win the heart of your husband.  At home dress up, wear the colurs and clothes he likes to see you in. Use makeup, perfume, jewellery – in short – do what it takes to be attractive to him. Earrings, bracelets and pretty dresses – wear the best for him.

2. HIS MOODS
Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. Welcome him when he comes home and make him feel good to be at home. Don’t start complaining or burdening him with problems as soon as he comes home. Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitlely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him!

3. Be like the women of jannah (paradise)
Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn (women of Jannah) and try to be like them. Imitate them. The Qur’an and Sunnah (the way of life for Muslims) describe the women of Jannah as having certain characteristics. For example, the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband.  Wear silk for your husband, use kohl around your eyes, and sing to your husband (or whisper sweet words).

4. Togetherness
Do things together or at least spend some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Sincerely appreciate him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and his opinions. Make suggestions, give advice and comfort him.  Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Don’t spend large amounts of his money without his permission.  Show care and concern for his relatives as hit is a sure way of securing a place in his heart.  Never object when he spends money on them – as this is a source of abundnance and increase in life span.

5. THE FUN SIDE OF LIFE
Joke and play games with your husband. A man’s secret – they seek women who are light-hearted and have a good sense of humour.  As Rasulullah SAW told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh. Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.

6. GRATEFULNESS
Be grateful to your husband. It’s a tough world and your husband workse hard to provide for you, so don’t compare him to other men unless it is a favourable comment. Thank your husband continually for the nice things he does. Let him know you appreciate his efforts, not only by words but also actions.

7. YOUR MOODS
Control your moods as much as possible. Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Remain calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tact and powers of persuation later to try to explain your point of view. Belive the best about him and not the worst. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up the mistakes of the past.  An argument is like a fire in the house. Extingush it with a simple I am sorry even if it is not your fault. When you fight back – you are adding wood to the fire. What how sweetly an argument ends when you just say sincerely – Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.

8. PLEASURING YOUR HUSBAND
Always seek to please your husband for he  is the key to jannah (paradise). Rasuhullah SAW taught that any woman who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter jannah. Thus please him. Simple things like serving him the food he likes and eating together fosters companionship.

9. LISTEN AND OBEY
Obeying yoru husband is fard (obligatory). Your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him  does not involve any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Show respect to your husband by not revealing to others your private and confidential issues, or by complaining about him or discussing marital problems with those who cannot help you.

10. DUA (Prayers)
Pray to Allah SWT to make your marriage and relationship successful. Ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya (this world) and continues on by the mercy of Allah SWT into jannah (paradise).  May Allah SWT give us the favour of changing what we can change (like ourselves), patience with what we cannot change (like our spouse), and the wisdom to understand the difference. Whatever truth is in it is from Allah and His Messenger, and whatever mistakes are from the shaytaan and myself; And Allah and His Messenger are absolved from it.

Text credit: http://www.islamicthinking.info/post/4014699764/10-tips-on-how-to-be-a-successful-wife
pic credit  http://www.alitrah.info/product_info.php?cPath=102&products_id=2194&osCsid=77d8bd49cffe60aefc867097e3305cb3

Ask Allah SWT for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this dunya (this world) and continues on by the mercy of Allah SWT into jannah (paradise).

Love Story – Experience of love

MARVELOUS MYSTERY OF LOVE 
For a long time I have been dwelled in understanding this mystery.

FAHM O SHAOOR
Really love is beyond all the so-called fahm o shaoor. Fahm o shaoor means the realizing of wiseness in Urdu. It means the realization of wiseness or in this case a greater realization about love. Fahm o Shaoor means the way of understanding something.  

LOVE IS …
Love is so indescribable. It's a feeling that you've come home. It's this thing called love!

LOVING LARGE
It's bigger than us, isn't it?

TWO BECOME ONE – I BECOMES YOU
There comes a point (may be in everyone of us Life) when "I" vanishes totally. When all you think is in terms of "You". Yes it’s continuous "Giving".

TRANSFORMATION
Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible. It lets you share your goals, your desires, your experiences. It lets you share your Life with Someone. It lets you Be Yourself with someone who will always Support you. It lets you speak your innermost feelings to someone who Understands you. It lets you feel tenderness and warmth - a wholeness that avoids Loneliness.

UTTER COMPLETENESS
Love lets you feel Complete. Wow what an ideal paradise ♥ :)

VALUABLE VALUES
Values do play an important role in love too. When we live in a society we are bound with some norms and values which definitely determine our mode of action. Love with Respect and Keeping your integrity at the highest height have an impact.

LIVING LOVE
Everyone wants to spend life time with ONE they love, but there comes some point when may be you are not able to spend the life with the one you love or may be s/he is already in a committed relationship, then all you can do is offer your best possible [wishes, blessings, love] but never drag them to cut their knots with their dear ones or responsibilities.

DANGEROUS LIAISONS
Don’t snatch happiness of others. Just give them freedom. As you only lose whatever you cling to.

NO SIDES
In response to the concept of one-sided love - Love is just Love, not one two three sided but If you start to feel rejected, devalued and unfulfilled then it’s all about perspectives.

HUGGING CACTUS
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it’s going to hurt.

POSSESSION
Again comes the thing of Possessing or holding. The solution is Freedom.True Love is the Ultimate Display and Test of both Detachment and Bonding, Strength and Vulnerability, Closeness and Letting Go and in that Each are able to step into the Fullness of who they are.

DO YOU WANT LOVE?
And in the end Iif you want Love, Offer Love without all plans and Conditions.

NO TESTS PERIOD
Never Test your beloved as it’s Insult of Love.

NOT ALL CAN TRULY LOVE
Love is never Enough and only Some blessed hearts can offer Love, Respect and Giving.

EGOLESS
Loving heart doesn’t have any Ego. As when you keep on feeding this so-called EGO, you have less Love to offer.

BLESSING
May all of you and yours find this mystery to the ultimate joy. May you never find any conflict when you come face to face with Love. Aameen.

P.S
I am sure I can write million more words and Yet I will find all not enough, so Let the Love remains as it is. Who are me, you and We to dive into this Ocean when we don’t have enough skills for swimming in this "Aag Ka Darya" :) LoL

So Here a Cheers to all the crazyyyy ONES :) ♥ :)

PPS
Aag Ka Darya – means river of fire, oceans of fire. In other words the ups and downs of life, the ebbs and flows, the highs and low – the unruly nature of life with all its vicissitudes.

Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible