How to have a match made in heaven. Here are the secrets for a successful marriage however it takes two to believe in them.
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
In Islam marriage is a form of worship, a social obligation, an act highly admired by Allah SWT and a way of life (Sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him).
BENEFITS TO MAN AND WORLD
1. Marriage is a life-long commitment and partnership. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stated divorce was the most hated act of all lawful things in the sight of Allah.
2. Marriage is a beautiful institution, where two people experience solace, comfort and a taste of the Garden of Jannah (a heavenly time).
3. Marriage is a stabilizing force in society and guarantees well-being for the community.
4. Shared sweet moments are more rewarding than Nafl Ibaadah (extra worship). It is an Ibaadah (a form of worship) that can lead one to Jannah (heaven), where a pious couple will be happy companions for eternity.
COMPLETE EQUALITY
In Islam both spouses are equal – no one is superior to each other. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) reportedly said that women are the twin-halves of men. When a man and woman have joined through marriage, they are complete.
MEN AND WOMEN ARE GARMENTS FOR EACH OTHER
Allah describes the importance and significance of men and women to each other in the Holy Qur'an.
'They (women) are your garments and you (men) are their garments.' (2:187)
Without clothing (garments), a body is not protected nor properly dressed.
One’s clothing is one’s modesty, one’s protection, one’s security, one’s respect, one’s comfort, one’s reputation even.
Clothing is meaningless without a body.
The two must go together. If apart, there is little reason for their existence.
Just as one takes care of garments, spouses, who are each other's garments, should do the same.
IDEAL WORLD
Although they are of equal status, each has different duties, responsibilities, and roles as Muslim husband and Muslim wife. The ideal of wife-hood was declared to be love and affection and not subordination and inferiority.
PERFECT MODEL
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was an example of how to treat a wife and he always encouraged his followers to treat wives kindly and lovingly: 'A good Muslim husband should treat his wife in the best possible manner.'
LOVELY LIFE
The Quran states: 'Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be you dislike a thing in which Allah has meant for your own good.' (4:19)
TEAMWORK
The wife was regarded by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as the best safeguard for the husband against sin. A husband should regard his wife as a safeguard against immorality and as a consolation and comfort in times of distress.
WISE COUNSEL
A husband and wife are to be the best of companions. They should be each others support and comfort, "a shoulder to lean on."
EXAMPLE OF WISE COUNSEL
There was an occasion where the non-Muslims of Makkah would not allow the Muslims to perform Hajj. Sacrificing an animal is a part of the holy pilgrimage. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told his followers that they would have to sacrifice the animals elsewhere, but the followers did not agree and did not obey. He asked them a couple more times, and still they thought it was not allowed to do that, so they didn't obey.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) went back to his wife and narrated the story to his wife, who advised him to go out, shave his head, sacrifice an animal, and his followers would do the same. He did just that and the followers, upon seeing the Prophet doing what he had commanded them to do, finally obeyed him. This is an example of the love and respect of the special relationship of a husband and wife.
MONEY AND RESOURCES
An important duty of the husband is to provide his wife with finance from his wages, so that she could successfully run the household. The Prophet (PBUH) said: 'You shall give her food when you take your food and you shall clothe her when you clothe yourself,' meaning he should take care of his wife as well as he takes care of himself.
Prophet Muhammad’s wife Aysha RA narrated that Hind, wife of Abu Sufyan, complained to Muhammad SAW: 'Abu Sufyan is a miserly person. He does not give adequate maintenance for me and my children, but I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is this sin on my part?' The Prophet (PBUH) replied: 'Take from his property the usual amount that would suffice you and your children.'
MORAL AND SPIRITUAL
A wife is a spiritual and moral being like her husband. Therefore, the husband should build a moral and spiritual relationship with his wife. This will help in establishing family units that knit together with ties of love and affection and will finally lead to the growth and development of a civilized life in communities all over the earth, but in accomplishing this, the cooperation of the wife is essential.
HUSBAND IS HEAD OF THE HOUSE
The husband has been granted the God-given right as the 'head' of the family, the organizer, the supervisor of the social unit of marriage, as all social units need a 'head.'
GO WITH THE FLOW
'Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given one more strength than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard.' (4:34)
TREASURED TREASURE
The righteous woman, according to Allah, is one who is obedient to her husband. The Prophet (PBUH) said to his companions: 'Shall I tell you about the best treasure a man can have? It is the virtuous wife who always pleases him whenever he looks at her, who obeys him when he orders her, and who guards herself when he is absent from her.' But if a wife is rebellious and cannot accept this situation, the marriage will, undoubtedly, be unsuccessful.
PLEASING
A righteous woman will know that pleasing her husband is pleasing Allah and bringing displeasure to her husband is bringing displeasure to Allah. The Prophet (PBUH) said: 'When a man calls his wife for his need, let her come to him, though she may be cooking. Whenever a man calls his wife for his need and she refuses and he passes the night in an angry mood, the angels curse her until she gets up at dawn.'
BENEFACTORS
It is only natural for the husband, who is entrusted with the maintenance of the wife from her family, to expect obedience from her. The men are the benefactors. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) warned: 'Be not ungrateful to your benefactors.'
RULER
The husband is like the ruler of a country. If the citizens do not respectfully obey him, then, no matter what he does, he will be unsuccessful in running the country.
MICROCOSM OF SOCIETY
The home is the basic unit of the larger organization. It is only when the smaller units are in order that the larger unit will function smoothly.
ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: 'There is nothing better than marriage between partners who love each other.' So, the wife should feel happy to serve, please and obey her husband.
CLOSE COMPANIONSHIP
In marriage, there should be no secrets between husband and wife. The man is most reluctant in sharing his secrets with anyone, except his wife.
TRUST
A companionship so close which enables him to trust her with his confidential matters as well as to guard them safely. And it is the duty of the wife to not carelessly reveal her husband's secrets and confidential feelings and emotions to anyone. The Qur'an states that if a woman holds a grudge against her husband, it would still be unlawful for her to reveal his secrets.
HOME SWEET HOME
Addressing women, Allah says in the Qur'an: 'Stay in your homes.' (33:33), meaning that the woman's duties should be related to and around the home. A woman has an important internal duty of caring for her home, her family, and her children.
MOTHERLY
The wife and mother are the role models for the success of the future generations. They have the power to make a home or break a home. She is like the head of state, devoting herself to making her home an ideal one. She has the major responsibilities of housekeeping, taking care of everyone else’s needs before her own, management of all affairs, and most importantly, raising the children as devout, pious, righteous Muslims.
HIGHEST PLACE
An obedient wife wins the heart of her husband, therefore, gaining the upper hand. Hers is the highest place at home and in the eyes of her husband. On the other hand, a disobedient wife who quarrels with her husband and is ungrateful and unloving to him, will spend her life filled with bitterness and a rock-hard heart, not to mention the displeasure of her Lord.
JUST DESERTS
Being the maintainer of the house, the man should not abuse his right in a displeasing and unIslamic manner. If he makes this sinful mistake, he should know that he will have to meet his Lord and answer for his deeds.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: 'The man is ruler over his wife and children and is answerable to Allah for the conduct of their affairs. The woman is the ruler over the house of her husband and children and is answerable for the conduct of her affairs.'
BLESSING AND PRAYER
May Allah give all believing men and women, married or looking to marry, the towfeeq (all the means) to be the ideal Muslim husband and the ideal Muslim wife with Allah's Divine help and guidance. May Allah bless all present and future marriages with love, happiness, peace, and success. Ameen. Alhumdulillahi Rabbil Alameen (Praise be to God, Amen).
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