Mortal lack of trust but full of faith for Allah. Lesson Five by Queen Shahrazad

LIMITING THOUGHTS AND ACTIONSA poor old fisherman with a wife and three children had a self-imposed policy – he would only cast his net no more than four times every day.

DON’T BE AN ASS  
One day he was fishing and something very heavy seemed to be caught in the net.

However, after incredible effort he landed the catch only to be disappointed with the carcass of an ass.

HEAVY HEART
In response to an ass in his net, he moaned and exclaimed:

“There is no strength nor power but in God, the High, the Great!

This is a strange piece of fortune!"

And he repeated the following verse:
"O thou who occupiest thyself in the darkness of night, and in peril!
Spare thy trouble; for the support of Providence is not obtained by toil!”

PROVIDENCE
Providence is the result of luck or fortunate circumstances, but it has a much deeper meaning and that is the care and guidance of God over earthly creatures. Providence is an influence which is not human in origin but is thought to control whether people receive the things they need. It can mean God governs all!

FAT FISH?
In the name of God, he cast the net again and when he pulled upon it found it more heavy and more difficult to raise this time. It was not full of fish but a large jar.

HEAVY HEART
He was now troubled in his heart and repeated the words of the poet:

“O angry fate, forbear! or, if thou wilt not forbear, relent!

Neither favor from fortune do I gain, nor profit from the work of my hands.

I came forth to seek my sustenance, but have found it to be exhausted.

How many of the ignorant are in splendour! and how many of the wise, in obscurity!”

HEAVY HAND
He threw aside the jar and begging the forgiveness of God for his impatience, returned to sea the third time and cast the net. However, this time he netted broken jars and pots.

FOURTH AND FINAL ATTEMPT
In the name of God, he cast the net again into the sea. This time the net was even heavier.  He exclaimed: “There is no strength nor power but in God!”  He pulled the net into the shore. Inside the net this time was a brass bottle. The bottle had a lead top bearing the impression of the seal of Lord Suleyman (Suleyman Ibn-Da’ud (Solomon, the Son of David)).

TEN PIECES OF GOLD
The fisherman believed the bottle would fetch ten pieces of gold in the copper market. He felt he must open it to see what was in it. However, nothing but smoke came out of the bottle. The smoke solidified into a supernatural creature known as an Efrit.

THE APPEARANCE OF THE EFRIT
His head was in the clouds, while his feet rested upon the ground. His head was like a dome: his hands were like winnowing forks; and his legs, like masts: his mouth resembled a cavern: his teeth were like stones; his nostrils, like trumpets; and his eyes, like lamps; and he had disheveled and dust-coloured hair.

THE EFRIT’S STORYHe explained that he was one of the heretical Jinn (did not follow the accepted beliefs and standards). He rebelled against Suleyman – refusing to embrace the faith and to submit to his authority. He was then confined to this bottle and thrown into the midst of the sea.

AFTER 100 YEARS
He said in his heart: “Whosoever shall liberate me, I shall enrich him forever. “

No one did.

FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS
He said: “Whosoever shall liberate me, I will open to him the treasures of the earth.

But no one came.

TIME WAITS FOR NO JINN
Four hundred years more passed over him and he said: “Whosoever shall liberate me, I will perform for him three wants.”

Still no one came to liberate him.

NICENESS TURNS TO NASTINESS
The Jinn fell into a violent rage and said: “Whosoever shall liberate me now, I will kill him; and only suffer him to choose in what manner he will die.”

FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE
PARDON ME
The fisherman asked for a pardon because the Jinn should have  gratitude for his liberator.

He mentioned an adage: We did good to them but they returned the opposite.

COVET NOT YOUR LIFE
"Do not covet (want it so much) your life because death is inevitable," retorted the Jinn.

HUMAN CUNNING
The fisherman thought to himself – this is a Jinni and I am a man – and he thought of a way to outsmart the Jinni. He asked: “How were you in that bottle?” The fisherman said he would never believe that the Jinni was in the bottle until he saw him in the bottle. The Jinni became smoke and entered the bottle. As soon as the Jinni did this the fisherman closed up the bottle.

UNTIL THE HOUR OF JUDGMENT
The fisherman intended to throw the bottle into the sea, intending to make him stay there until the day of judgment.  The fisherman said to him: “Did I not ask you to spare me so that God may spare you? And destroy me not less God destroy you?”

OPEN TO ME
The Jinni promises benefits if the fisherman would open the bottle again but he did not believe him, saying you and I are like the Wezir of King Yunan and the sage of Duban. The Jinni wanted to know what their story was (TO BE CONTINUED).

THE MORAL OF STORY FIVE
Man can outsmart his circumstances if he plans. Man can get out of tight corners when he puts his thinking cap on. Sometimes we have the opportunity to show mercy and if we don't then there will be unfortunate consequences.

Part One of 1,001 nights
http://abetoday.com/2012/06/10/scheherazade-shahrazad-sowing-good-is-never-lost/

Part Two
http://abetoday.com/2012/08/06/how-a-wife-became-a-gazelle-by-queen-shahrazad/#comment-6288

Part Three

http://abetoday.com/2012/08/07/saved-by-a-wife-and-jinniyeh-by-queen-shehrazad/

Part Four

http://abetoday.com/2012/08/08/sow-good-even-on-an-unworthy-soil-for-it-will-not-be-lost-wherever-it-is-sown-one-of-the-greatest-messages-by-queen-shahrazad/

See:  http://abetoday.com/2010/07/30/scheherazade-success/

Credit: Source of the story:  http://www.bartleby.com/16/

Pic credit:  Two pages from the Galland manuscript, the oldest text of The Thousand and One Nights. Arabic manuscript, back to the 14th century from Syria in the Bibliotheque Nationale in Paris.1300s

Two pages from the Galland manuscript, the oldest text of The Thousand and One Nights. Arabic manuscript, back to the 14th century from Syria in the Bibliotheque Nationale in Paris.1300s

http://expositions.bnf.fr/livrarab/gros_plan/mille/mille_2.htm

Sow good, even on an unworthy soil; for it will not be lost wherever it is sown – one of the greatest messages by Queen Shahrazad

CONTINUOUS CLIFFHANGER
Queen Shahrazad is telling stories for her life because the king’s modus operandi (method of operating) is to marry a lady and then in the morning execute her. Shahrazad each night tells a compelling story but does not finish it and she tells the king that there is an even better story tomorrow night.

MERCHANT MESSOn Day One – she starts with the story of a merchant who unintentionally killed the son of a Jinn. The Jinn is going to kill the merchant when three sheikhs pass by. They bargain with the Jinn that if they each tell a compelling story the Jinn would give up one third of his claim to each sheikh. The first two sheikhs' stories are so wondrous that the Jinn has now given up two-thirds of his claim. Now there is just the last sheikh.

MULE MADNESSThe mule is not just a mule but the wife of the third sheikh.

BLACK HOLE
The wife became involved with a black slave. On discovery by the sheikh, she took a mug of water, having uttered a spell over it, sprinkled him, and transformed him into a dog.

MAGICAL END
The dog ran to the shop of a butcher, whose daughter saw him and being skilled in enchantment, restored him to a man again.

DIVINE RETRIBUTION
She instructed him to enchant his wife how we see her now.

THE THIRD SHEIKH’S REQUEST
“Now I hope you will give me a third of the merchant’s offence.”

REQUEST WITH A MESSAGE
He ended his request with an adage saying that the person who said it was divinely gifted: Sow good, even on an unworthy soil; for it will not be lost wherever it is sown.

JINNI JOY
The Jinni so shook with delight that he remitted the remaining third of  his claim to the merchant’s blood.

THANKSGIVINGThe merchant thanked the sheikhs. They congratulated him on his safety and everyone went on their way.

THE BEST IS YET TO COME
Queen Shahrazad is fighting for her life so she has to talk up what she is doing. She tells her king: “This story is not more wonderful than the story of the fisherman.” The king wanted to know about this story – TO BE CONTINUED.

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY
Surprisingly the third sheikh's story is brief but contains one of the wisest adages that wherever you are sow good and even if sown on what seems to be unworthy ground it is still worth sowing. Sowing good always is worthwhile even if it does not seem that  way, given how everything appears at that point of time.

Part One of 1,001 nights
http://abetoday.com/2012/06/10/scheherazade-shahrazad-sowing-good-is-never-lost/

Part Two
http://abetoday.com/2012/08/06/how-a-wife-became-a-gazelle-by-queen-shahrazad/#comment-6288

See:  http://abetoday.com/2010/07/30/scheherazade-success/

Credit: Source of the story:  http://www.bartleby.com/16/

Jinn from the One thousand and one nights.

Saved by a wife and Jinniyeh by Queen Shahrazad. Brotherly Bonds saved by Brotherly Love!

Blessed Brothers by Queen Shahrazad (Part Three)

BARK AND BITE OF BROTHERLY LOVEThe second sheikh traveled with two trusty hounds and introduced them as his brothers.

WORLDLY INHERITANCE
This sheikh and his brothers inherited three thousand pieces of gold on their father’s passing.

MAKING A LIVING
With his share, the sheikh opened a shop to buy and sell.

JOURNEY TO HELL
One of the brothers embarked upon a journey with a stock of merchandise.

DOWN ON HIS LUCK
This brother was away for a year and returned destitute (no money, nothing).

FRIENDLY ADVICE
“Didn’t I tell you not to go travelling?”

FATE AND DESTINY
“O my brother, God, to whom be ascribed all might and glory, decreed this event;
and there is no longer any profit in these words - I have nothing left.”

SHARING GAIN, SHARING BLESSINGS
The sheikh took his brother into his shop, gave him a bath and clothed him in a costly suit of his own clothing.

PRAISE BE TO GOD
The sheikh shared his profit with his brother. This came to 2,000 pieces of gold. He praised God, to whom be ascribed all might and glory, and rejoiced mightily. He divided the two parts between himself and his brother.

SAME FATEThe other brother had also gone on a journey and also returned in a similar condition as the first brother one year later. The sheikh did the same for this brother.

TRAVELLING BUG
After living together for a while, the brothers wanted to travel again and wanted the sheikh to accompany them.

QUESTION QUESTION QUESTION“What have you gained from your travels that I should expect to gain?” he asked. They implored him but he refused. They continued selling and buying in their shops until after six years had passed. At last the sheikh consented.

SIX YEARS AND SIX THOUSAND PIECES OF GOLD
They had made six thousand pieces of gold. They decided to bury half just in case any misfortune befell them. They buried it in the earth. Excellent advice they thought.

Each brother had a thousand gold pieces.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS
They hired a ship, loaded goods and started the voyage. After one month at a city they sold merchandise and for every piece of gold, they gained ten!

HEARTSTRINGS PULL
As they were about to set sail again they were approached by a maiden. She was shabbily dressed and kissed the sheikh’s hand. She asked: “O my master, are you possessed of charity and kindness?”

CHARITABLE AND KIND
He replied in the affirmative. She then requested to be his wife and to take her to his country.

MARRIAGE IS A PURPOSE OF GOD
She told him she needed kindness and charity. She also told him that her looks deceive. This moved the sheikh’s heart with tenderness towards her. In order to accomplish a purpose of God, to whom be ascribed all might and glory, he took her, clothed her, gave her a beautiful place in the ship, and lavished upon her kind and respectful attention.

DEADLY SINS – ENVY, JEALOUSY, MURDEROUS INTENT
The sheikh became attached to his wife – so much so that he neglected the society of his brothers, who became jealous and envied his wealth.

EVIL EYE
“Let us kill our brother, and all the property shall be ours.” The devil made these actions seem fair in their eyes.

MAN OVERBOARD
The sheikh and his wife were thrown into the sea as they slept. However, as soon as the wife woke, she shook herself and transformed into a Jinniyeh (a creature created by Allah (God) that was made from fire. They live in another dimension and don't usually enter our dimension).

JINNIYEH POWER
The Jinniyeh immediately took the sheikh away and put him on an island. Then she disappeared.

PERMISSION OF GOD
In the morning she returned and said: “I am your wife who carried you here and rescued you from death, by permission of God, whose name be exalted. Know that I am a Jinniyeh. I saw thee and my heart loved thee for the sake of God; for I am a believer in God and his Apostle, God bless and save him! I came to thee in the condition in which thou saw me, and you did marry me, and see, I have rescued you from drowning.”

JINNIYEH WRATH“But I am incensed against your brothers, and I must kill them.”

FORGIVENESS
Of course the sheikh did not want this and in the name of Allah asked her not to do it.

There were two reasons for this.
1. They were brothers.
2. If someone has done evil to their benefactor (helper), the action he has done is enough for him. This means the evil will come back to them and you don’t have to do anything.

UNFORGIVING
She was unmoved – repeating they must be killed. She returned the sheikh to his home by soaring him through the air and placing him on the roof of his house. He dug up the cache of cash, bought merchandise and started his shop again. When he entered his home the next day – he found two dogs tied up in it. They came to him, weeping and clinging to him.

LOVE SHOULD FIND A WAY TO FORGIVE
Immediately his wife appeared to him, he knew these were his brothers. Her sister had done this and they would only be restored after 10 years. The sheikh was on his way to the sister when he came across the merchant who was about to lose his life.

AND THIS IS MY STORY!
The Jinni thought this was a wonderful story too and he gave up another third of his clam to the merchant’s blood.

MORALS AND WHAT TO WATCH OUT FORNotice how the stories are about trading – which is what Prophet Muhammad (Peace Ee Upon Him) and his first wife were involved in – trading – buying and selling. The business that is as old as the hills.

We see again the powerful forces of jealously and wrong actions rearing their ugly heads. We also see the adage that blood is thicker than water at work – despite everything a brother is a brother and the sheikh wants his brothers back.  Imagine – they tried to kill him and his wife yet he still loved them. Of course perhaps he should not have neglected his brothers and should have maintained more contact after marriage. The minor story is that the sheikh accepted a woman who turned out to be much more than first appearances suggested. When we don’t let appearances get in the way – we may find gold. She saved his life and although she was not totally obedient she did compromise with her husband.

Part One of 1,001 nights
http://abetoday.com/2012/06/10/scheherazade-shahrazad-sowing-good-is-never-lost/

Part Twohttp://abetoday.com/2012/08/06/how-a-wife-became-a-gazelle-by-queen-shahrazad/#comment-6288

CREDIT
See:  http://abetoday.com/2010/07/30/scheherazade-success/

Source of the story:  http://www.bartleby.com/16/

pic credit - Jinniyeh by Aeryael. please visit http://aeryael.deviantart.com/art/Jinniyeh-29261983.

 pic credit - Jinniyeh by Aeryael. please visit http://aeryael.deviantart.com/art/Jinniyeh-29261983.

How a wife became a gazelle by Queen Shahrazad

The Story of the Sheikh and the Gazelle – the fascinating stories from 1,001 Nights by Queen Shahrazad (Part Two)

THE MISSING LINK
The first sheikh travelled with a gazelle who was actually the daughter of his father’s uncle and his cousin. She was his wife for about 30 years, but the sheikh was not blessed with any child by her.

LOVE TRIANGLE
His solution was to make his slave a concubine (a woman who has a sexual relationship with a man but has not married him). The sheikh was blessed with a beautiful boy.

BUSINESS CALLING
When the boy was about 15, the sheikh had to go on a business trip.

MY COUSIN, THIS GAZELLE
His cousin wife had studied enchantment and divination. During the absence she transformed the youth into a calf and his mother into a cow. Both were put under the care of the sheikh's herdsman.

THE GRAND RETURNOn his return he asked after his son and concubine. The wife replied – she is dead and your son has fled. She denied knowledge of where they were. He mourned until the Festival of Sacrifice when he sent for the herdsman and ordered him to choose a fat cow.

CONCUBINE IN COW’S CLOTHING
The cow was really the concubine. She moaned so loudly the sheikh had no heart to kill her and ordered the herdsman to do so. However, the herdsman found no fat or flesh but only skin and bone. He then ordered for a fat calf. This calf made such a noise that the sheikh took pity upon it and ordered for a cow instead.

WATCHING WIFE
While this happened his wife urged for the slaughter of the calf. Instead the sheikh gave the calf to the herdsman.

COVERING HER FACEIt just so happened that the herdsman’s daughter also knew enchantment. When she saw the calf, she covered her face and asked her father why he had brought a strange man to her.  She recognized that this was the son of the sheikh. The herdsman rushed to tell him. The sheikh entreated the girl to restore his son to him on promise that she could have all his property under the care of the herdsman.

TWO CONDITIONS
The first is that I shall marry your son and the second that I shall enchant the one who enchanted him. Of course the sheikh agreed.

THE GIRL'S PRAYER
If God created you a calf, remain a calf.
But if you are enchanted return to your original form by permission of God, whose name be exalted.

TRANSFORMATION
He shook and became a man!

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH
The sheikh said: “O my son, God hath given you one to liberate you and to avenge you.”

MARRIAGE
The sheikh married the two and then she transformed the wife/cousin into a gazelle.

AND THIS IS MY STORY!The Jinni found the story to be so wonderful that he gave up one third of his claim to the blood of the merchant to this sheikh.

RECAP
One day a merchant had lost his life to a Jinni but three sheikhs bargained with the Jinni that if he liked their story he would give up one third to each sheikh. The first sheikh now has one third of the merchant’s life in his hands.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Wickedness has its consequences.
Shahrazad was the lady attempting to win the love of a king by telling riveting stories. What is the moral of the story of the Sheikh and the Gazelle – Wickedness has its consequences. Also beware of the jealous wife – she bided her time and struck when the sheikh was not able to defend his love and their son. Jealously and wickedness are powerful forces – don’t unleash them upon you in your life. In the end the sheikh ended up with no companions unless you can say a gazelle is a companion.  Perhaps the sheikh should have been content with his first wife even though she could not give him a baby.

Part One of 1,001 nightshttp://abetoday.com/2012/06/10/scheherazade-shahrazad-sowing-good-is-never-lost/

CREDITSee:  http://abetoday.com/2010/07/30/scheherazade-success/

Source of the story:  http://www.bartleby.com/16/

The classical image of a 'sheikh': Sheikh Sattam de Haddadin of Palmyra, by Russian painter Alexandr Evgenievich Yacovleff.

Should a woman work after marriage? The Taleban dimension

WORKING WIFE?
I always start with looking at my family when I consider questions like this.
Both my grandmothers worked before marriage but one of them did not work from the day she got married. My mother worked before she got married but became a housewife when she had her first born – me.

WHAT IS EQUALITY? 
My mother told me that equality does not mean that a woman has to work. She felt that looking after children was a full-time job. Even after my brothers and I are now grown she has continued to be a housewife with a welcoming home for family members who regularly visit. There have been some brief times though when she has done some part-time jobs but never full time.

HOUSEWIFE AND HOMEMAKER
I like the word and concept of homemaker – the wife making a home for the family.

DIVISION OF LABOR
However, should there be compulsion on a woman to work or not to work? In the West in countries such as the UK, the pressure is on for women to work even though they have kids. In some parts of Asia such as Singapore I am seeing that pressure too.

ECONOMIC REALITY
My mum has been lucky – both her husbands had the financial wherewithal for her not to work.  Thus my mum could follow her preference and that is to be a housewife.

MONEY MAKES THE MARRIAGE GO AROUND?
How much money is enough? Sometimes we are chasing expensive cars, luxurious holiday locations, huge houses and all manner of mod cons. Perhaps so much money is not really necessary. We have a famous adage – cut your cloth according to your circumstances – although in the modern world of iphones, ipads and I like branded goods – that is going to be easier said than done.

TALEBAN THINKING
However, should women be forced not to work after marriage?  I have never met a member of the Taleban and all we have are news reports painting a picture of their thinking, attitudes and actions.

BLACKEST PICTURE
You must have heard that the Taleban when they ran the Afghanistan government did not want women to have a formal academic education.

According to a “People to Watch” column in Singapore’s leading newspaper The Straits Times – the Taleban are said to send notes to the husbands of women who are working, saying that it is a shame that the man of the family is not taking care of business.

WORKING WIFE, NO PRIDE
Reportedly, members of the Taleban feel that a man has no dignity if you send your wife to work and take her money.

TIPTOEING PAST THE TALEBAN TREND
One woman, despite an assassination attempt, has decided that a woman should be able to work and work she does. Her name: Hassina Syed. http://syed-group.com/biography.php

RAGS TO RICHES
Reportedly, her family fled to Pakistan when she was four but returned to Afghanistan when she was 17.

MONEY MAGNET
She decided to take advantage of the numbers of foreign journalists and offered bed and breakfast. She started this business with $500 her father had given her. Leasing three rooms in a house, she spruced them up with new furniture and rented them to Western journalists in the late 1990s.  During this time she met her husband, Peter Juvenar. Business expansion has included opening a hotel in Kabul (Gandamack Lodge Hotel), a travel agency, and a bed and furnishing shop.

Money from these businesses enabled her to branch into an armoured car and truck importing business.  Other ventures have included irrigation systems.

MAN POWER
According to the report she could not have done this without her husband. To get contracts, she would say her husband was the owner. On one trip her husband was told not to bring his wife but she came along anyway as his translator.

MANHOODTraditional Western values were that the woman should devote her life to the family and not work after marriage (if financially they could do this). Today there seems to be pressure upon a woman to work in the West. Having said that there is also a recognition by government that parents should have maternity leave to spend time with the baby and then be able to go back to work.

DIVISION OF LABOR
In parts of Asia there is still a grappling with whether a woman should work or not after marriage. In the Muslim world it hits at manhood – you are not really a man if you can’t provide adequately for your family.

IELTS – Note to IELTS students – the family and the roles of men and women are important topics to consider.  Should women work after marriage? Should the man be the sole bread winner – what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?  Think about your personal views and those of your society. Have there been changes since the time of your grandparents and what are those changes?

TEXT CREDIT SOURCE:  Straits Times – People to Watch – Nirmala Ganapathy.  Email: gnirmala@sph.com.sg

Pic credit source:  http://syed-group.com/biography.php

Is love possible on Facebook?

WAYS TO CONNECT
Facebook is a place to connect but is it a place for love?
Facebook can certainly be a starting point; obviously it can’t be the ending point for love such as marital love. Also is it true or real love – is it sustainable and lasting love?
Could Facebook be a good starting point for marital love?  
If we look at Western love – starting on Facebook cannot be worse than meeting in a bar or club. Numerous Western marriages start in bars, clubs and discos. 

BAR LOVE
I have a brother who met his wife in a bar – their marriage did last for over 20 years but ended in divorce. I am not sure of the exact reasons but it may have been in part because she could not give him children. My own parents met in a work situation – my Mum and Dad worked in the same company when they met. My parents’ marriage lasted for less than 20 years because my father passed away. My grandmother met her husband on holiday on the Isle of Man. Hers lasted for over 30 years before my grandfather passed away.

WESTERN MARITAL LOVEThus in the West, there has to be a starting point so Facebook could be a good place to get introduced. It is a meeting of minds point so why not – it could be the start of something great especially if you have common interests and are on Facebook to enhance those particular interests.
FACEBOOK REVELATIONS
If you watch a person’s postings and comments over a period of time you certainly get to know their personality, character, their associates and what makes them tick.  In Western culture, you need to know a person’s character and that certainly is possible on Facebook – certainly glimpses of them.  

FACEBOOK LOVE
Also what do you want to do with that love? Take it into the real world? - it may not be transferable love. The reality of physical love is that wherever you meet – it might not be transferable love.

THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE - IS YOUR LOVE TRANSFERABLE? 
This is the most challenging aspect of physical and romantic love. The ability to transfer love to other situations, such as living together, is by no means easy, guaranteed or lasting. Whether it is true or real love - whether it is sustainable and lasting love - these are questions that we all have whatever the meeting or starting point. Sustaining love is the one of the greatest challenges of the 21st century.

THE DEFINITION OF LOVE
We have to think of the meaning or definition of love. If by love - you mean the brotherhood of man, then that type of love is possible on Facebook but if you are talking about romantic love then I think you have to be very careful. Also where does romantic love lead to - romantic love has to lead to something and that can't be fulfilled on Facebook. Romance involves some form of physical love. The best place for that is in a long-term real-world relationship and in my opinion marriage if you are fortunate enough to meet a suitable person to marry.

MUSLIM MARITAL LOVE
In the Muslim world, romantic love is to be within marriage. Thus if you believe in the Muslim way then no Facebook is not the place to start romantic love. It starts upon marriage. The Muslim way is love develops in marriage. Love should deepen in marriage.

WHAT IS MY PERSONAL STAND? People meet so Facebook can be the start – and we can love at a pure holy level – that love is certainly possible on Facebook.  My greatest concern with romantic love wherever it starts is whether it can last. If you have that lasting variety then you are very blessed. Sadly the divorce courts tell another story of the sustainability of marital love.
The greatest question in the 21st century and throughout the ages – is it true or real love? Is it sustainable and lasting love?

Friends and friendship – here’s how to have closer relations. 10 ways

10 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE A MORE FRIENDLY LIFE

1. UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP – understand this core value and central core of existence. 

Our life is our fortune and our friends are our fortune.  Thus if we lose our friends it is unfortunate. Hazrat Ali R.A. is reputed to have said: “Unfortunate is he who cannot gain a few sincere friends during his life and more unfortunately is the one has gained them and then lost them (through his deeds).”

2. WORK OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS ARE
It is often difficult to work out who are our true friends. Sometimes a person who loses his temper with you may be the truest of friends and may have your best intentions at heart.  Although sadly the delivery of the message was inappropriate.

3. NO TRUE FRIEND IS EVER LOST
Sadly, it is only after we have lost a friend that we realize that they had our best interests at heart and were true friends. Once we realize this – make contact and tell  your friend this. If they are true friends they will appreciate the gesture and resume the friendship.

4.  IMPROVE YOUR POWERS OF DISCERNMENT
When thinking of true care and true feelings – I always think of Shakespeare’s King Lear. King Lear did not recognize his true friend because she did not clothe her words with flattery. He failed to recognize the insincere flattery. Discernment is your ability to recognize sincere-ness (genuineness) from insincerity.  Sadly so many humans get it wrong! Again once you realize you are wrong – make amends and get back on track.

5. IN-BUILT FRIENDS
Family are your first friends and for those with big families are a community. In England, adult relations between family is usually based on friendship - we will only keep regular family contact as adults if we are friends or if we have a parent who makes an effort to keep all together. In Asia we talk more about family ties and family honour and religion teaches us to treat people as well and as closely as brothers. Thus close family relations is the closest form of friendship.

6. FRIENDLY BROTHERHOOD
Religion teaches the brotherhood of man – a friendly loving relationship between others even though we don’t have blood ties. Thus it should be our aim and purpose in life to develop this level of being cordial.

7. UP YOUR VALUES
Values are the key to us and our relationships (which are forms of friendship). Develop good values and associate with those people. In friendship, you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together. Sharing a wholesome common purpose is consistent with religious principles be that Christian or Muslim.

8. FOLLOW THE CALL OF GOD
Allah gave us the perfect way to stay in friendly relations with others – it starts with Assalam o Alaikum and Allah gives us the greatest common purpose.

9. THE POWER OF ASSALAM O ALAIKUM
Assalam o Alaikum dear brothers and sisters today. Assalam o Alaikum is the perfect beginning and ending until next time – Assalam o Alaikum. Assalam o Alaikum gives us the greatest start and the greatest ending.

10. THE POWER OF GOOD DAY
Traditionally in English culture – we would say Good Day, which is also a blessing for others, and Good Bye - these are blessings of goodness wishing that God is with you and that only Good will happen. Let us live in holy values.

FRIENDLY RELATIONS 
Good Day can be a greeting and a farewell, just like Assalam o Alaikum. Thus if you are speaking in English a wonderful way to be in friendly relations, and add blessings to the world is to say Assalam o Alaikum Good Day and then end with Assalam o Alaikum, Good Day and blessings. If you know they are receptive – add God Bless or God Bless you. Let the beauty of friendship and holiness come from our mouths, words and thoughts.

Let the beauty of friendship and holiness
come from our mouths, words and thoughts.
Let's all be friends.