WORKING WIFE?
I always start with looking at my family when I consider questions like this.
Both my grandmothers worked before marriage but one of them did not work from the day she got married. My mother worked before she got married but became a housewife when she had her first born – me.
WHAT IS EQUALITY?
My mother told me that equality does not mean that a woman has to work. She felt that looking after children was a full-time job. Even after my brothers and I are now grown she has continued to be a housewife with a welcoming home for family members who regularly visit. There have been some brief times though when she has done some part-time jobs but never full time.
HOUSEWIFE AND HOMEMAKER
I like the word and concept of homemaker – the wife making a home for the family.
DIVISION OF LABOR
However, should there be compulsion on a woman to work or not to work? In the West in countries such as the UK, the pressure is on for women to work even though they have kids. In some parts of Asia such as Singapore I am seeing that pressure too.
ECONOMIC REALITY
My mum has been lucky – both her husbands had the financial wherewithal for her not to work. Thus my mum could follow her preference and that is to be a housewife.
MONEY MAKES THE MARRIAGE GO AROUND?
How much money is enough? Sometimes we are chasing expensive cars, luxurious holiday locations, huge houses and all manner of mod cons. Perhaps so much money is not really necessary. We have a famous adage – cut your cloth according to your circumstances – although in the modern world of iphones, ipads and I like branded goods – that is going to be easier said than done.
TALEBAN THINKING
However, should women be forced not to work after marriage? I have never met a member of the Taleban and all we have are news reports painting a picture of their thinking, attitudes and actions.
BLACKEST PICTURE
You must have heard that the Taleban when they ran the Afghanistan government did not want women to have a formal academic education.
According to a “People to Watch” column in Singapore’s leading newspaper The Straits Times – the Taleban are said to send notes to the husbands of women who are working, saying that it is a shame that the man of the family is not taking care of business.
WORKING WIFE, NO PRIDE
Reportedly, members of the Taleban feel that a man has no dignity if you send your wife to work and take her money.
TIPTOEING PAST THE TALEBAN TREND
One woman, despite an assassination attempt, has decided that a woman should be able to work and work she does. Her name: Hassina Syed. http://syed-group.com/biography.php
RAGS TO RICHES
Reportedly, her family fled to Pakistan when she was four but returned to Afghanistan when she was 17.
MONEY MAGNET
She decided to take advantage of the numbers of foreign journalists and offered bed and breakfast. She started this business with $500 her father had given her. Leasing three rooms in a house, she spruced them up with new furniture and rented them to Western journalists in the late 1990s. During this time she met her husband, Peter Juvenar. Business expansion has included opening a hotel in Kabul (Gandamack Lodge Hotel), a travel agency, and a bed and furnishing shop.
Money from these businesses enabled her to branch into an armoured car and truck importing business. Other ventures have included irrigation systems.
MAN POWER
According to the report she could not have done this without her husband. To get contracts, she would say her husband was the owner. On one trip her husband was told not to bring his wife but she came along anyway as his translator.
MANHOODTraditional Western values were that the woman should devote her life to the family and not work after marriage (if financially they could do this). Today there seems to be pressure upon a woman to work in the West. Having said that there is also a recognition by government that parents should have maternity leave to spend time with the baby and then be able to go back to work.
DIVISION OF LABOR
In parts of Asia there is still a grappling with whether a woman should work or not after marriage. In the Muslim world it hits at manhood – you are not really a man if you can’t provide adequately for your family.
IELTS – Note to IELTS students – the family and the roles of men and women are important topics to consider. Should women work after marriage? Should the man be the sole bread winner – what are the advantages and disadvantages of this? Think about your personal views and those of your society. Have there been changes since the time of your grandparents and what are those changes?
TEXT CREDIT SOURCE: Straits Times – People to Watch – Nirmala Ganapathy. Email: gnirmala@sph.com.sg
No comments:
Post a Comment